![]() ![]() Why was the student confused when he went from English class to math class? Because he was taught that a double negative in English is bad, but in math, it’s a positive.I met a math teacher who had 12 children. She really knows how to multiply!.Who do I work on first? Nurse: Simple, follow the order of operations. Surgeon: Nurse, I have so many patients.Which tables do you not have to learn? Dinner tables!.How do you solve any equation? Multiply both sides by zero.Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor? The teacher told him not to use tables.The wise men of the island recognized a lesson in this experience and added to the lore of their people this statement: "People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones. Unfortunately, after a few months of constant use, the ropes frayed, and one night, the throne slipped and came crashing down on the king, killing him. This was truly the best of both worlds for the king. He could lower the huge throne for use during the day, and at night, he could haul the throne up, and lower his bed. Soon, the king's tiny hut was rigged with an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer to solve the problem. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines.Īfter much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home.Įventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders. There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy. Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on its back, and thinks, Uh-oh, what am I going to do now? But instead of running, the dog sits down with its back to its attackers, pretending it hasn’t seen them yet.Īs the leopard and monkey get close enough to hear, the dachshund says, “Where’s that monkey? I sent it off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”ġ72. “Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!” The monkey goes to tell the leopard it has been duped. Meanwhile, a monkey that had seen the whole thing decides to put this knowledge to good use, trading it for protection from the leopard. With a look of terror, it slinks away into the trees. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?” Hearing this, the leopard halts its attack. The dachshund thinks, I’m in deep trouble now!īut then it notices some bones on the ground and immediately settles down to chew on them. Suddenly the dog sees a hungry leopard bounding toward it. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies, and before long the little dog discovers it’s lost. She takes her pet dachshund along for company. A woman decides to go on a photo safari in Africa. The wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"Ħ. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top." So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream." The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. ![]() They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. ![]() The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. ![]() There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. ![]()
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